Dating as a Single Mom

The Struggle is Real

Dating as a single mom is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions—confusing, time-consuming, and often leaving you wondering if it’s even worth the effort. Between managing your child’s school schedule, working, running a household, and trying to maintain some semblance of self-care, adding romance to the mix feels nearly impossible. But let’s be real—just because we’re moms doesn’t mean we don’t want companionship, love, or, at the very least, a nice meal that we didn’t have to cook.

The Balancing Act

One of the hardest parts of dating as a single mom is the sheer lack of time. Between working a full-time job, getting a degree, running a small business, school drop-offs, child forgot something at home and now your late for work, football practice, and making sure homework is done, the idea of putting on a cute outfit and meeting someone for dinner feels like a chore. And if you do manage to schedule a date, you better believe it took CIA-level coordination—lining up a babysitter, making sure your kid is fed, and hoping they don’t call you mid-date because they can’t find the remote or their favorite stuffed animal before bed.

The "Mom Guilt" Factor

Single moms know this all too well: the ever-present mom guilt. The moment you start getting excited about a date, the voice in your head starts whispering, “Shouldn’t you be spending this time with your child?” It’s as if prioritizing your own happiness somehow makes you a bad mom. But here’s the truth—happy moms raise happy kids. It’s okay to carve out time for yourself without feeling guilty.

The Screening Process

Dating as a single mom comes with an extra layer of caution. You’re not just dating for yourself—you’re dating with the future of your child in mind. You can’t afford to waste time on people who aren’t serious or who bring drama into your life. The moment someone starts showing red flags (or even pink ones), you start mentally packing their bags.

And let’s not even get started on the awkward moment when you have to tell a potential partner that your child will always come first. If they flinch at that statement, they can show themselves out.

The Ex Factor

Co-parenting adds another level of complexity. If you share custody, you might find yourself explaining your schedule to someone new, and let’s be honest—not everyone is ready for the unpredictability that comes with parenting. Then there’s the issue of an ex who may or may not be supportive of your dating life. Some are mature and respectful, while others act like they suddenly want to be a family again the moment they see you moving on.

Is It Even Worth It?

Despite the challenges, dating as a single mom can be worth it if you meet the right person—someone who understands your responsibilities, respects your time, and doesn’t see your child as baggage but as a bonus. The key is to take your time, trust your instincts, and never settle for less than what you deserve.

At the end of the day, being a single mom is already a full-time job. If you’re going to date, make sure it’s with someone who adds to your life, not someone who drains it. And if love isn’t in the cards right now, that’s okay too—because you’re already doing the hardest and most important job there is.

What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to dating as a single mom? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

Breaking the Stigma: Understanding the Daily Struggles of Single Moms

DID YOU KNOW?

In today's society, single motherhood is often accompanied by unjust stigmas and misconceptions. Despite the progress made in recognizing diverse family structures, single mothers still face numerous challenges and societal pressures that can impact their day-to-day lives. From financial strains to emotional hurdles, the journey of single motherhood is often marked by resilience and strength in the face of adversity.

One of the most palpable challenges single mothers face is financial strain. Without the support of a partner, single mothers bear the sole responsibility of providing for their families. Balancing the demands of work and childcare while trying to make ends meet can be a daunting task. Many single mothers work multiple jobs or struggle to secure stable employment with adequate pay and benefits. The persistent wage gap and lack of affordable childcare options only exacerbate their financial burdens.

Single moms will skip paying their household bills to buy Christmas gifts for their kids.

I know this mom’s profile all too well because it was me. Living just above broke and overcompensating with my boys to make up for the lack in other areas of their lives.

She’s often living paycheck to paycheck. Any out-of-the-ordinary expense creates a financial hardship. The car broke down, unexpected illness and missed time from work, layoff from business (it happened to me), death of a spouse, divorce, and absentee fathers (yup! x2 on the deadbeat dads for me).

Single moms tell their kids NO way too often for things that are really common for most other kids, like field trips, seeing the latest and greatest movie, grabbing a milkshake at the Chick-fil-A drive-thru just for fun, or because mom is too exhausted to cook, sports activities because they are too expensive…or they rely on grandparents (this was not an option for me) to cover these “extras."

Often, she can’t afford a babysitter to get time away to relax and reboot, or worse, she feels guilty and undeserving. They say it takes a village, but most single moms don't have a "village." They are figuring this thing called life out solo. 

Single moms often sacrifice their own health and self-care because they lack meaningful support in the area of time, money, and caregivers to take the time for their well-being. Single mothers are often masterful multitaskers, adept at balancing the demands of work, parenting, and household responsibilities. However, the constant juggling act can take a toll on their physical and mental well-being. Many single mothers struggle to find time for self-care and personal fulfillment amidst the daily grind of managing a household and caring for their children. The lack of support systems and resources can make it challenging for single mothers to prioritize their own needs without feeling guilty or selfish.

The pressure to fulfill both parental roles while navigating societal expectations can lead to feelings of isolation, guilt, and feeling overwhelmed. Single mothers often juggle the emotional needs of their children alongside their own, all while grappling with the absence of a co-parent to share the burdens and joys of parenting. The stigma surrounding single motherhood can compound these feelings, leaving many mothers feeling judged or undervalued by society.

Despite the prevalence of single-mother households, stigma and social isolation persist. Single mothers may face judgment and scrutiny from friends, family members, and even strangers. Stereotypes about single mothers as being irresponsible, promiscuous, or unable to provide a stable home environment abound in popular culture and media, further perpetuating harmful narratives. This stigma can make it difficult for single mothers to access support networks or seek assistance without fear of judgment or discrimination. These are the moms who are over-givers and very often will become sick because of chronic stress and worry, and her self-care comes last.

Despite the myriad challenges they face, single mothers embody resilience and strength in the face of adversity. They navigate obstacles with grace and determination, striving to create a nurturing and supportive environment for their children. Single mothers demonstrate unwavering dedication and love, serving as powerful role models for their families and communities.

It is my hope and vision that your small contribution will express to these moms that they are not forgotten; they are valued and supported. They are not invisible – we see them, understand, and care.

As women and important contributors to our society, I want to give them a nudge of encouragement and hope they feel inspired to keep going and being the best they can – and when they can, they’ll pass it on…and with that, we have started an important shift in connection with humanity that will change our community in countless ways.

It is imperative that we challenge the stigma surrounding single motherhood and recognize the invaluable contributions of single mothers to society. By fostering empathy, support, and understanding, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate environment where single mothers feel empowered to thrive and succeed. Let us celebrate the resilience and strength of single mothers, honoring their unwavering commitment to their families and their unwavering pursuit of a brighter future.

To honor these single moms, The Wild Olive Soapery will gift one mom a month a special pampering package to show them I care. 

If you would like to contribute to providing a special momma with a self-care pampering basket, you can donate here: https://www.thewildolivesoapery.com/shop/donation